Dear Uncle Henry,
Hello, this is Mrs. Buford… no, it’s not Buford pretending to be me. It’s really me… I DO EXIST! First, I want to compliment you on your show. We really enjoy it and listen often. Second, I’m writing today to give you some insight on life in the Buford household. Some of the information I provide and events I describe may be shocking and down right unbelievable, but I assure you… every bit of it is true!!! I’ve heard you converse with my husband on the air for quite some time and decided it’s finally time for you to hear my side of the story!
YES… Buford is for real! Let me tell you, given all the shenanigans I have to put up with, sometimes I wish he weren’t for real!!!!!!! (For example… explosions, trees falling in the yard, a 16000 count firecracker roll, live chickens, etc.)
YES… Buford is truly a modern day renaissance man! He may sound extremely country, but he does enjoy the finer things… dinners at nice restaurants, movies at the Crescent Theater, classical music (boy, he loves the music on your show too!!!), and even cultural events like the downtown art walk. He even breaks out the ole seersucker suit for afternoon tea at the Grand Hotel from time to time. (The elderly ladies just love him, but I don’t see what all the fuss is about!!)
YES… Buford really lifts really heavy weights at the gym and runs long distances. His new thing is studying “old time strong man” and “turn of the century lumberjacking” techniques. He made me watch the most boring weight lifting video the other night and then proceeded to tell me that I lacked the ability to appreciate true genius!
YES… this man has more “toys” than anyone you will ever meet! Snake tongs, live traps, snare poles, rifles, handguns, diving equipment, professional grade medic gear, and three HUGE bookshelves filled with literature on everything from politics, religion, gardening, pop culture, psychology, etc. (all categorized and labeled, might I add.) He also has a 40 lb pound bag of each rice, beans and grits (his so-called “food storage program”). I guess if there’s an apocalypse we’ll be safe from wild animals and crazy people, we won’t go hungry and we sure as heck won’t be bored! But of course, how could I ever get bored being married to the “International Man of Mystery” they like to call my husband?
I could go on and on, but I will close with this…
Never in your life will you ever meet another Buford. I’m convinced that he doesn’t seek out the events of his life… the events find him! Whether we’re in Mobile, AL or in Progresso, Mexico there’s never a dull moment! His stories are by no means embellished versions of Jerry Clower material. Oh, no… this is what I have to live with every single day. I roll my eyes a lot, shrug my shoulders and shake my head daily. I like to think that, “Behind every great man [Buford] is a woman [Me] who is NOT impressed!!!”
I promise you… if I didn’t love my husband so much, I think I would kill him or I would die of a heart attack!
Feel free to read this on the air if you think your listeners would be interested. Hope you have a good day!
P.S. In reference to #3, can you believe that the video so inspired Buford that he immediately sat down at the computer and wrote an article on his progression through weight lifting through the years!!! He submitted it to the video’s producer (Brooks Kubik) hoping for it to be published in his newsletter. Geeezzzz!!! It never ends!